To Have and To Hold

Specifically, in Western culture there is a fairytale myth about love. Singers sing about Prince Charming and a white horse saving the Princess. Poets write sonnets about dreamy romance, mystical heroes and everlasting love. Authors write novels that usually incorporates a happy ending. However, people in the West have a 50% divorce rate and a much higher unhappiness rate, as it correlates to “Forever with Mr. or Mrs. Right.”

The underlying theme that has permeated this culture is the belief in each person, as being a fragmented soul searching for the perfect person who will make them complete. Our culture promotes this type of thinking in movies, tv programs, Internet dating sites, religious ceremonies and reinforced in many family units. How common are phrases such as: My better half, My significant other, You are the wind beneath my wings, The light of my life, You complete me? Those phrases are empty statements of desire, not love.

Because of this campaign-for-love, many couples simply do not have the resources or teachings to come close to “Happily Ever After.” I know people who have been married 25, 38, even 40+ years who are not happy in their marriage but do not feel they have a choice to find fulfillment after so many years with one individual. An oath that no longer fulfills their personal journey has become a chain holding them back. The excuses range from too many entanglements to lack of will.

Regardless, relationship longevity is not based on some fantasy of love. It is based upon respect, responsibility, care and knowledge. Love is the gift you give to another, not the resulting expectation of sharing life with another. You are whole and complete on your own. You do not need anyone else to finish the beautiful creation of life that you are!

If you are not happy in a relationship, figure out why. If the problem can be fixed, Do the Work and fix it. If not, learn your lessons of the past and move on with your life. There is no sin in changing your path. It is your life to live. Forever is closer than you think.

So, on that note, the quote of the day is:

“Everlasting love cannot be obtained, until you understand what it really is.” tc

On the Edge

I have discovered that there are two extremes of people in this world. One type lives in the box, follows the rules most of the time and accepts life on the standards set by others. The other type of person lives outside the box, pushes the envelope most of the time and acknowledges the rules set by others as a guideline but usually creates their life experience one moment at a time.

Neither way of living is better than the other, right or wrong. It is simply different. For those who follow the rules and live in the box, there is a steady, routine security to life. There are not as many surprises but the exchange is comfort in knowing what is expected. For those people who make their own rules and live outside the box, there is adventure around every turn, constant surprises and a freedom to life that is unparalleled.

If you find yourself being one extreme but living another, it does not work for very long. Sometimes, we all find ourselves living contrary to what is natural to us. Just remember, change is inevitable and you can make changes to balance your life in order to live happier and more fulfilled. It just takes strength.

So, on that note, the quote of the day is:

“When standing on the edge of a precipice, breathe in the panoramic view, instead of immediately looking down.” tc