Courageoous Move

There was a period of time in my life where I was so locked within myself that I could not feel anything. I went about my ‘normal’ activities, worked, took care of children and went to school. However, I felt nothing inside. There was this big hole. It wasn’t empty like many people think. This hole was filled with darkness, coldness, sadness and loneliness. I smiled, laughed and tried to carry on with my expected duties but there was no laughter in my heart or in my eyes.

At that time in my life, I thought it was a sign of strength to show no emotion or very little. I took pride in being able to hide my pain. I thought that if I cried or admitted that my soul was aching, that I would lose my self-control.

Ironically, at that time, everyone and everything else was actually controlling me. My job took up a lot of time. Raising my children as a single mother, filled in any spare time, trying to get an education was squeezed in between everything and then, there were the unexpected fires that seemed to flare up at the very moment when I thought I had some peace. Ugh!

One day, I became so tired of feeling empty, lonely, cold and sad that I decided to take real control of my situation. It was not easy but I had to look at me and my life. What was working? What wasn’t working? What made me happy? What was holding me back from my happiness?

What I learned was that when I took all the reasons, excuses and justifications away, I saw a common denominator…………..FEAR! I was afraid to take any action to change my circumstances because I didn’t know what was going to happen. I felt that by holding onto my present state, although gloomy, that at least I could control it. How silly it seems to me now but at the time, it was all consuming and very distressful.

When you find yourself sick, unhappy and miserable ENOUGH, you will seek out some relief from your suffering. This may take the form of counseling, religious guidance, your father’s advice, a friend or a favorite place in nature to relax. Hopefully, you will not turn to denial, addictions and anger, which is easy to fall in to. What is most important is that you take the first step of Action and seek positive guidance. When you seek to change your life, you must open your mind and heart to the spirit of the messages being given to you. They may come in a very different manner than what you are accustomed to. Remember that God likes to surprise us!

So, on that note, the quote of the day is:

“Courage is being brave enough to move beyond the fear!” tc

A Warped Perspective

I used to be an extremely untrusting and fearful person. Because of my fear, I placed very high walls around myself.  I was suspicious of everyone and worked very hard to always be a step-ahead. This not only took a lot of energy but I created a very lonely environment for myself.  Looking back, I'm really not even sure what I was afraid of.  Nonetheless, this fear dominated my life.
When I learned that we create fear based upon an idea of unrealized loss, I began to look at the concept of fear very differently. People have come and gone in my life. I have moved from place to place.  The material possessions that I have owned have changed over the years.  However, no matter how I look at my past, I have to admit that I have never really lost anything!
As a matter of fact, I have gained more by opening to the vulnerabilities that come with this life, than I ever could have imagined losing by building all those protective barriers. If your Golden Rule is to 'Trust No One,' you're not even coming close to living the beautiful life you have been given. Love is the only universal Golden Rule that should be at the top of your list.

So, on that note, the quote of the day is:

"Fear will only guide you into a world of isolation." tc

Celebrate your achievements. You deserve it!

I have been afraid of heights my entire life.  There is no known event in my history that would support this fear.  Yet, my fear has drawn a lot of attention to myself, prohibited certain activities that I wanted to do and increased in symptomatic behaviors as I got older.
One day, I decided to start overcoming this fear.  The only way for me to face it was head-on!  Systematically, I started going to high places, standing closer to the edge of a canyon and driving over those mountain passes, instead of sitting on the floor of the vehicle that I was in waiting to get across. 
After four years of exposure to heights, I felt that I was ready to truly celebrate overcoming this lifelong fear.  I booked a Hot Air Balloon Ride in New Mexico.  As God as my witness (and the other people in the basket), I was calm, relaxed and joyful to be experiencing the sublime feeling of floating in air like a cloud.  I would recommend this experience to everyone.

On that note, the quote of today is:

"Only take what you need, give all that you have and live fearlessly."